by ALISTAIR BOMPHRAY
It’s that time of year when it’s hella/wicked/crazy/stupid/(insert regional slang here) hard to stay positive. We’ve got like eight weeks till Spring Break. Morning’s are cold and dark. The sun’s gone by six which means two and a half hours at most of schoolless light. Teachers and students alike are looking around the room and thinking, “These guys again?” And the sound of the school bell is enough to make you question the very nature of life itself. (It rings, therefore I am? And so on.)
All those inspiring ideas and lessons you gestated over the summer—gone with your tan. No doubt about it—this is the toughest stretch of the year. Which is why I thought it would do (me) some good to look deep into my cold teacher heart and reaffirm some of the things I love about this cruel, cruel job.
Enter Love stage right, wielding a jagged ray of light stolen from the legendary Unjammable Copy Machine.
Thus defeated, Bitch and Moan, the evil witches of Bellyache, slither offstage.
Sorry ‘bout that weirdness. Sometimes when I write these blogs after a long day of teaching, I don’t know what’s too weird. Anyway, here goes. Five things I love (and that you should consider loving too) about teaching:
1. Getting roasted by the kids. I’m not talking real insults or anything. Being called a “punk ass bitch” isn’t getting roasted—that’s more like a public lashing or having a shoe thrown at you. Some disses aren’t quite so hostile, but they aren’t exactly ha-ha funny either. A teacher friend of mine once caught a student sneaking up behind him with a sticky note that read, “Mr. Shitty Breath.” A little too grimace-worthy to be a legitimate roast. What I’m talking about is when a kid burns you with wit and timing—the real deal, you know? Even though the entire class is laughing at you (some of which laughter is more mean-spirited than you’d prefer), you can’t really be mad at him—it was just too damned funny. Here’s an example, though this particular barb is admittedly short on wit: The other day, while discussing society’s limiting definition of manhood, I asked my class what a person who is not “a player” or who does not “get a lot of girls” is labeled. With zero hesitation, one of my students (knowing damn well that I am the tennis coach) blurted out, “A tennis player!” Bada-bing!
2. Roasting the kids back. A couple of years ago, I half-jokingly told one of my more difficult students, “I’m watching you, Tameeka,” and then did that dumb gesture where you point two fingers at your eyes and then reverse them so they’re pointed at the other person’s eyes. She fired back—quite fairly, in retrospect—“The only person watching me is God.” To which I replied, “Well, God isn’t going to call your mother.” Ohhh shiiit! Mr. Bomphray got jokes!
3. Smiles. Right? No matter the depths of my mood, the bleakness of my day, I can count on the guileless generosity of a smile to cheer me up. And kids are so free with their smiles, bless their hearts. I urge you, try this the next time you’re having one of those classes that makes you want to hole-punch your own tongue (you know, for dramatic and bloody effect). Pick a student (probably not the student you just got into an ugly back-and-forth with) and smile at them. I swear to you, they’ll smile back! And you’ll relax just a little. (Tip: Don’t attempt this smile at the height of your wrath. A wrathful smile is a crazy smile—think Jack Nicholson in The Shining.) But seriously, I like smiles.
4. Reading my students’ personal statements for college. As intimate a look into their lives as I’m ever going to get. This is, after all, why I chose this crazy job in the first place. ‘Cause I want to know them. And many of them, lo and behold, want to be known by me. When you’re always dealing with students en masse, it’s hard to get there. At least to my satisfaction.
5. Shooting the shit with Ms. Navarro. Kids are great (see above), but I need adults in my professional life too. Luckily, I’ve got one of the baddest adults ever working right next door to me. Whether it’s talking about curriculum, dreaming up solutions for the problems at the school, or telling dirty jokes, Ms. Navarro gives me the daily adult fix I need so desperately to survive in this teenage wasteland. No bitching and moaning with her either—she doesn’t have the time. Too much to love.
So, dear readers, what do you love about teaching?
Alistair teaches English and Journalism in Hayward, CA.
I love the fact that a former student is changing lives as he teaches. Keep up the good work. The world needs more people like you!
I teach at a community college. Many of my students are women returning to school. Their plates exceedingly full, they are generally the students who work hardest. I love that at home, little eyes are watching their struggle to compose an essay, and that their moms then are their models and heroes.
1) I love it when a kid I cajoled, berated and pleaded with to work hard comes back after finally passing the state assessment exam needed to graduate and says, “Ms. H. you are the first person who really cared, really pushed me to learn. I just want to say thank you.”
2)My kooky kids always keep me up on the latest you tube comedies. (oh, please don’t let my administrators read this but everyone need some down time in the classroom-its like Kagan strategies but much more fly…)
3) Teenagers are just so damn…real. You can’t pretend long with them. They know when you are lying and you don’t really want to be there, they understand about having a bad day and they just want you to cut the crap and…teach. I can dig that.
4)Someone out there listens to me. Even if they darn well have to. In the classroom my word is bond.
1) Getting to work one-on-one with a student who is struggling in any subject – almost always makes the world of difference AND you get invaluable bonding time with that student
2) Talking with studetns about things other than school – you get to learn so much about their worlds and you find out things you had no idea they were experiencing or knew about … this is also true of parent/teacher conferences or homevisits… sitting with parents and really getting to know them
3) Making art with kids (including poetry) and integrating art into academics and watching kids fly with it
4) Developing social justice lessons into the “3 R’s” – this always guarantees fascinating and energized conversations… those are really my ultimate favorites…. especially when former students come back and you see that they internalized what they learned with you… the best
5) Whenever that light bulb goes off and you see a kid “get it” – with something they had struggled with before
Thanks Alistair — good exercise!